Darken Elise
April 22nd, 2005, 09:57 AM
The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the
country.
>
>
>
> "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
> after you wear them awhile."
>
> "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
> worthless document."
>
> "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>
> "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
> that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>
> "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write
> anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>
> "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
> help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>
> "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
> or I'll give you another ticket."
>
> "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
> not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>
> "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
> ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey shit."
>
> "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
>
> "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>
> "Just how big were those two beers?"
>
> "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>
> "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
> At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>
> and the best one . . . . .
>
> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
> Sign here.
country.
>
>
>
> "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
> after you wear them awhile."
>
> "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
> worthless document."
>
> "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>
> "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
> that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>
> "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write
> anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>
> "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
> help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>
> "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
> or I'll give you another ticket."
>
> "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
> not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>
> "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
> ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey shit."
>
> "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
>
> "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>
> "Just how big were those two beers?"
>
> "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>
> "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
> At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>
> and the best one . . . . .
>
> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
> Sign here.